Why Self Help, Doesn't Help!

I have noticed  lately that so many Christian books and devotions geared toward women are "how to" type topics.  After discussing this with a close friend, we came to the conclusion, that there was a time in our lives when these books would entice us. Especially as young mom's who were always looking for "help".  In a culture that encourages us to be the best, do our best and push our children to be their best, one has to just sigh and feel as if it's all too overwhelming.
Furthermore, growing up in a denomination that applauds "works" and religious "goodness", I can easily find myself not measuring up, if I have a bad day or if my kids do something questionable.  Don't even get me started on being a good wife.
The question to myself has been, "at what point am I better, or when do I just accept that I am a human "being" not a human "doing" or as a friend once said, "I am doing the best that I can".
As a disclaimer, to many very well written - God inspired books, I have benefitted greatly from their tips, suggestions and comradery because knowing I'm not doing this life alone brings great comfort. However, because of my filters, I could easily end up defeated, not so encouraged, because I would caught up in the comparison game as well as feeling that I'll never be able to live by all the suggestions. Also, if I'm honest,  it's much easier to read a how to book, than to get into God's word, be still and wait for Him to speak, allow the Holy Spirit to encourage and convict and praise God that I have been regenerated, renewed and then allow the perfect life of Christ to live through me and the power of Holy Spirit living in me  to equip, guide and direct my path.  Best of all, I could REST in his AMAZING GRACE that never condemns, never expects, but instead has expectancy of me that I will get it right at times, but its okay if I don't.
Also, the great principle I have learned from my pastor is that God has chosen me, with all my flaws, wrinkles, imperfections, short temper, easily distracted, undisciplined, selfish (you fill in the blanks), self to further His kingdom here on earth.  Which isn't some vague command, it's simply to glorify God in the circumference of the space He has placed me.
I have the ability to influence my world (no matter how big or small) for Christ.  Since, I am a full-time Mom and part time group exercise instructor, my world isn't really that huge.  That doesn't disappoint me.  I have found I don't do well with lots of space and people in my life.  I am an extrovert and I love meeting new people of all shapes, sizes and colors.  However, I do well to minister to a few rather than the masses. Because my family requires alot of time,  my sweet non-believing friends desire alot of my time and even my few close friends and I rarely get consistant time together, I stay busy.
So, I will probably never be speaking, writing alot or running any ministry groups.  I have learned that I need to nurture exactly what God has given me to the best of my ability.  Perhaps that might change one day, but I'm not seeking it out.  As you age, you see how the mundane things in life have equipped you to handle the bigger things in life.  How we live in the mundane really determines how we handle the non-mundane challenges we face.
Now, I wake up and ask God what my mission is for that particular day. 
I just returned from a fitness convention. I sat in lectures, learned about new fitness trends as well as safety and nutritional information. I loved everything I learned.  I wanted more!  I realized this is an area God has given me in my life that I seem to thrive inside of. So many argue that fitness isn't very "spiritual".  Of course, I could justify it with the verse, "your body is the temple of God", which it is.   But teaching group exercise isn't exactly "religious", especially when your teaching Zumba which is dance (said with fingers pointing at me) SMILE!  I might agree with that except, I don't look at my classes as just an hour to dance or workout.  I see my classes as a place to meet people that aren't in my personal circles and hopefully, love, encourage, enjoy and learn from.  And, if the presence of God is living in me, (which He is),  the fresh aroma of who He is will oxygenate (give life) those I come in contact with. That isn't limited only to my classes, but also my family, friends and neighbors.

As my perspective of my purpose in life has been corrected, I now live seeing every opportunity as a chance to "be Jesus" in a dying, desperate, hopeless world, my world.  A friend from our small group wrote a book, Ten Foot World, A Call to Influence by J.D. Sluiter.
It hasn't made it to the New York Time best sellers list, but it should.  It's a book about the call on every Christian's life.  Its inspiring and challenging.  Probably one of the best books I've read, although in his humility Jack would smile as if I was just being nice.
So,what have I replaced my self help with? Because, I do still have "issues".  For example, when I lose it with my kids, forget to call a close friend on their birthday, doubt my self, abilities and talents, mess something up, do too many things last minute, struggle with jealousy or anger, I don't stay  in that messy place.  I confess it all to my God who has already seen it, ask forgiveness of those I have hurt or disappointed, keep my flesh on a short leash by living according to God's word and listen to His correction and allow myself to be a sinner in constant need of Grace.  Thankfully, His mercies are new every morning.  I have trained my mind that when I hear those condemning voices to remember that "there is therefore no condemnation in Christ" so, I  reject those lies and live by truth "greater is He that is in me, than He that is in the world."
As my pastor reminds us every week I live...UPWARD - knowing that God loves me completely (mistakes and all), INWARD - I love myself correctly, based on how God loves me and OUTWARD - I love other compassionately because I know who I am in Christ and I can extend grace and love to those who need Christ's love, acceptance and forgiveness.

For More on:

WHAT’S THIS “UPWARD, INWARD, OUTWARD” THING?

When Jesus was asked, “What is the most important commandment?” He said we are to love God with all of our heart, soul, mind and strength, and to love our neighbors as ourselves (Matthew 22:37-39). This is the Jewish Shema (Deut. 6:4-9 & Lev. 18:19).

Notice the progression: love God (Upward), love yourself (Inward), love your neighbor (Outward).

Therefore, the goal of discipleship...is to join the Holy Spirit in creating Jesus look-alikes who grow in “Upward, Inward, Outward.”

Marinate on that,

Pastor Derwin

http://www.derwinlgray.com/category/church-vision/

Link to Jack Sluiter's Book: http://www.amazon.com/J.D.-Sluiter/e/B0072KZYS4

I am a Confident Woman...NOT!

If you are anything like me,some days I can be so full of confidence and excitement about what is going on in my life and within less than 24 hours, I can feel the exact opposite.  Not only can the disappointment  feel like a crushing weight, but the lack of consistency causes haunting doubts and frustration.  When God lead me, I believe, to a verse in the New Testament,   it quickly made me realize why I am stumbling in this area.  It says, Such is the confidence we have though Christ toward God.  Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God. 2 Corinthians 3:4-5
Several obvious points jumped off the page.

1. My confidence should be in God, not myself
2. I am not sufficient to take credit for anything I attempt in my own strength.
3. My sufficiency comes from God.

  In a world that loves to praise human effort and self sufficiency, this can sound self defeating.  The truth is, what the world sells us is counterfeit confidence.  It says, "you can do it, you deserve it, don't rely on others-they will only let you down".  Those kinds of thoughts and principles are empty.  They eventually fall apart, which leaves us questioning ourselves and others and desperate feelings of loneliness and disappointment.

From there, we might proceed to criticizing ourselves or others.  Next, blame creeps in and says, "you're okay, it's just someone else's shortcoming that made you react or act how you did".  The slippery slope continues and can eventually lead to separation, condemnation and even self loathing.

Why would I chose not to rely on the Creator of the Universe (who is my personal creator) for all my needs? Why does trusting human strength seem so much easier then relying on God's sufficiency?  After all, He promises to give it to us, no strings attached.

I have personally seen God work in this area of my life.  I should say "working" because I am a work in progress.  I have walked through some physical and emotional shortcomings that caused me to feel totally insufficient in most areas of my life.  During a very stressful place in my life, I was diagnosed with an auto-immune disorder.  It wrecked me physically and drained my physical energy, which affected my emotional being and of course, spilled over into every relationship in my life.  The once "energizer bunny" became depressed, tired and unable to be productive like I always had been   I became dependent and hated that feeling. As my doctor relayed to me the details and protocol for managing this, I cringed!   I am not big on taking medicine (even though my husband is in the pharmaceutical industry)  but, I had no choice.  I had a regimen for keeping my colitis in remission.  Another  blow came when I was diagnosed with depression.  Isn't that for wimps, I thought?   Apparently, I was going to have to accept the changes in my life. So,I stubbornly submitted to my diagnosis of depression,which made me more depressed, because I didn't like the "idea" of being depressed.  I now see that God was allowing me to clearly see that I am not in control, nor have I ever been.  It has totally changed my perspective and I am thankful for the freedom to let go.

As I worked through the many changes of my once healthy lifestyle, I let go of my ideas of what I was and who I thought I deserved to be.  As a group exercise instructor,   I had always eaten healthy, exercised, tried to avoid junk food, caffeine or anything else that might not be physically good for me.  Honestly, I took pride in my chosen lifestyle and enjoyed the compliments about my commitment to "stay in shape". 

I eventually could see how God was using my struggles to help me acknowledge that  I needed Him that  I wasn't sufficient on my own.  He created me with a void that only He can fill.  I am so thankful that He then gave me Himself to fill that God-shaped void.

In His patience with me, He allowed me to fill it with things that I thought would work.  But, eventually my resources were...insufficient.  How could anything I chose to do or not do replace GOD's presence in my life? I hope you will be encouraged through my personal struggles and choose to lay aside your "agenda", strength or sufficiency and surrender to God.  First, as to accepting His life as a payment for your sin and then as you accept Him into your life, you will be filled to overflowing with His presence.  His presence will be all you need. Look at the following verses from 2 Corinthians 12:7-10,

  But to keep me from being puffed up with pride because of the many wonderful things I saw, I was given a painful physical ailment, which acts as Satan's messenger to beat me and keep me from being proud. Three times I prayed to the Lord about this and asked him to take it away.But his answer was:My grace is all you need, for my power is greatest when you are weak. I am most happy, then, to be proud of my weaknesses, in order to feel the protection of Christ's power over me. I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and difficulties for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong..

I know some would say, that is upside down.  According to worldly philosophies, I would totally agree.  But, having done it both ways.  I can guarantee that living in the grace and sufficiency of the One who loves me enough to lay down His greatness to make me great, is definitely more peaceful.



just trying to keep it real, Becky

By the way, please check out my friend Renee Swope's book, " A Confident Heart".  Its an awesome "real" book that will encourage you greatly.  Her website is "reneeswope.com"